National Gorilla Suit Day (1/30/08)

Under normal circumstances, we'd be spending today celebrating National Gorilla Suit Day with millions of others. It's a day dedicated not only to simian impersonation, but also to the work of Don Martin -- also known as Mad Magazine's "Maddest Artist" -- who created the holiday.

Unfortunately, Mr. Martin's widow has requested that the holiday go unrecognized this year. Far be it from us to override Mrs. Martin's wishes, but for those who grew up with his cartoons, the chance to celebrate the man who created such characters as Fester Bestertester and Captain Klutz is irresistible. From 1956 to 1988, hardly an issue of Mad went by without Martin's cartoons, always accompanied by his trademark sound effects, ranging from "Fagroon Klubble Klubble" (to represent a food market falling down) to "Stoopft!" (the sound of a man in a bird suit crashing to the ground).

So what are we to do? While we'd never want to deny the Martin family the right to celebrate this day in their own way, we also feel a need to commemorate it -- somehow. Our best solution? Perhaps either a day duck hunting or, better yet, a fine meal at a fancy restaurant.

Suggested Sites...

• Don Martin Shrine - posters, galleries, and biography.
• Don Martin Dictionary - every sound effect used by the Master, from "Aaagh!" to "Zzz Glap!"
• Salon People: Don Martin - obituary for Mad-man.
• Mad Magazine - official site for Martin's longtime home.
• TV Squad: National Gorilla Suit Day - history of the holiday -- with video of the ultimate celebrators: The Nairobi Trio.

What Do You Get for the Man Who Knows Everything? (12/14/06)

You'd probably never predict it, but one of the things we love to do at the Spark is translating the works of Medieval French writers. One of our favorites is Michel de Nostredame, aka, Nostradamus. Imagine our surprise, then, to come across this particular quatrain:

When the bird has devoured the cat,
And the ass has trampled that big thing with the long nose,
Someone in a cube of metal and fabric
Will write a paean to me on my birthday.

Well, with that hanging over our heads, how could we not celebrate? Mike (as we like to call him) earned his living as a pharmacist, but became known for his prophecies that foresaw everything from Napoleon to the hula hoop with startling accuracy (or not, depending on who you talk to). Regardless, Mike, we wish you a happy 503rd birthday! We'd have gotten you a present, but you would have known what it was before even unwrapping it -- and we hate that!

Suggested Sites...

• Nostradamus Index - details on the life and prophecies of Michel de Nostredame.
• How Stuff Works: Nostradamus - takes a look at the pro and con views of the French seer.
• James Randi Educational Foundation - promoting critical thinking by providing reliable information about the paranormal and supernatural.
• Morgana's Observatory: Prophecies of Nostradamus - examines many of the prophecies and hoaxes attributed to him.
• Skeptic's Dictionary: Nostradamus - offers a jaundiced view of Nostradame's prophecies.

Archived under: Anniversaries, Asteroids, Astronomy, Comets, Disasters, Mysteries, Russia, Science, UFOs, Weird Stuff

Open Up That Golden Gate (5/28/07)

It's one of the most photographed things on Earth and instantly identifies San Francisco, so as we note its 70th anniversary, here are eight things you might not know about the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

1. It isn't gold at all; it's International Orange.
2. It was opened to automobiles when President Franklin Roosevelt pressed a telegraph key in the White House.
3. On its 50th anniversary, so many people crowded onto it that the span actually flattened.
4. It is estimated that someone jumps off of the Bridge every 15 days, almost always facing the city.
5. The Bridge's main cables each contain 25,572 separate wires and weigh 11,000 tons.
6. The concrete used in the construction could build two 10-foot-wide sidewalks from Chicago to Omaha.
7. High winds have closed the Bridge five times.
8. Each day, tidal flows send 390 billion gallons of water in motion under the Bridge.

The Man Who Invented Television Comedy (5/14/07)

The 20th century saw artists who broke the rules of what had gone before. In art, there was Picasso; in music, it was Igor Stravinsky; and in television, Ernie Kovacs changed the medium forever. Kovacs began his all-too-short career in the early 1950s, and soon saw opportunities for the new technology that no one else did. His style was eclectic, mixing sophisticated references with quick sight gags. Kovacs would try anything, whether it was spending $50,000 for a 6-second sight gag, doing an entire show with no dialogue, or creating performance art with the Nairobi Trio. Even though he began appearing in movies, he never abandoned television, innovating and expanding what could be done. Kovacs was killed in a car crash in 1962, and his influence has been seen in the work of such personalities as Steve Allen, David Letterman, and the casts of "Saturday Night Live."

Beware the Sockless Menace! (5/8/07)

One of humankind's greatest achievements is the sock. It comes in a variety of sizes, colors, and shapes, all of which are dedicated to the task of keeping our tootsies toasty. As with most advancements of civilization, though, someone usually comes along to throw a monkey-wrench in the works. In this case, it's the (no doubt well-meaning) folks who have brought us "No Socks Day." No socks!? Are they crazy? Sure, they say it's "to give you more of a sense of freedom," but we know what its real intention is: it's a plot by Communists or aliens -- or someone -- to get us to keep our feet unprotected so that we all catch colds or step on rusty nails or... something. We're no fools, though: Come May 8, we'll be wearing an extra pair of socks in order to thwart their dastardly plan. No socks? They might as well tell us to come to work in pajamas, or to drill holes in our heads.

Roger Ebert's Overlooked Film Festival (4/25/07)

Around the world every year, thousands of films are produced. Some are hits, some are flops, but there are still hundreds and hundreds of pictures that are ignored, forgotten, or just plain overlooked. That's where Roger Ebert comes in. Since 1999, Ebert -- playing off his decades of television film reviews -- has taken over a small theatre in Champaign, Illinois and shown overflow audiences the movies they missed. While the definition of "overlooked" might be somewhat strained for Ebertfest ("Patton," "La Dolce Vita," and "2001: A Space Odyssey"?), filmgoers will feast on such rarities as "Sadie Thompson" and "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (with a screenplay by an unknown scriptwriter named... Roger Ebert). Though Ebert's health has not been the best of late, he'll attend this year's festival (beginning with today's screening of "Gattaca"), if only from the audience. So for Ebert and his movie feast, we give a hearty "two thumbs up."

Raise a Stein to the Craft Brewers! (4/18/07)

Humans have been brewing beer for over 8,000 years. The basic ingredients of water and grain haven't changed, but the past few decades have seen the mass production of barley soda give way to artisanal brews, hand-crafted in flavors from sweet to bitter and all points in between. Today's tastes include ingredients as diverse as chocolate, corn grits, and apples. But no brew -- no matter how tall or frosty -- is perfect, so this weekend, hundreds of microbrewers will converge on Austin, Texas, for the annual Craft Brewers Conference to enjoy four days of seminars (and hospitality suites) all in the name of building a better beer. The days when Grandpa had a still in the cellar to foil the authorities are long gone, now replaced by friendly brewpubs where, even if everyone doesn't know your name, they'll still serve you a cold mug of suds and listen to your troubles.

And Now, A Man Who's Turning 60 Today: David Letterman! (4/12/07)

TV was different in 1982. Most stations signed off at midnight, and night owls had little to watch. But in February 1982, "Late Night with David Letterman" premiered. Viewers willing to stay up past 12:30 a.m. were confronted with odd characters doing strange things and a host who wore suits of Velcro, sponges, and Rice-Krispies. Shows were done from hotel rooms or turned upside-down. Dave argued with guests or brought estranged couples together. There were Top Ten Lists, Stupid Human and Pet Tricks, things crushed by a steamroller or thrown off of buildings. NBC was never quite sure of how to deal with Dave and his crew, and after an epic battle with the network, he took his show to CBS, where he's remained since 1993. Johnny Carson considered Dave to be his successor as the King of Late Night. And so on this, Dave's 60th birthday, we take a moment to wake the kids and phone the neighbors to wish him Happy DA Birthday VE.

Have Fun at Work: One Day Only (4/5/07)

We've heard that "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," which makes us wonder if there's really a way to combine work and fun. No one wants to do drudge work, but there are some jobs -- brain surgeon, airline pilot -- that you really don't want to be performed by some clown. So where's the middle ground? That happy medium that allows us to be productive (and keeps our bosses happy), and keeps our jobs from being something we dread? Fortunately, there are actually people whose job it is to devise solutions to dilemmas like this. Not only have they declared April 5 National Fun at Work Day, but the whole week of April 1-7 is Laugh at Work Week. We can't guarantee that your boss will approve your request to spend the day throwing pies in your pajamas, but it just might help lighten him up.

Walking on Air (3/26/07)

Acrophobics, beware! March 28 is your worst nightmare come true, for today marks the opening of the Grand Canyon Skywalk, the highest man-made structure ever built. The Skywalk sits higher than the Taipei 101 building; higher off the ground than three Empire State Buildings or four Eiffel Towers. So high that one has to wonder if even Superman could leap it in a single bound. And the worst part? The only thing separating those who dare to venture out on the catwalk suspended nearly a mile above the Canyon floor is a thin sheet of clear Plexiglass. Oh, sure, they say it'll hold the equivalent of 71 747s, but who wants to take the chance? The idea of watching helicopters fly under our feet gives us the willies. While it may seem tempting, unless we suddenly develop an uncanny ability to float in midair, we'll stick to terra firma.

The Shot Viewed Round the World (3/21/07)

Murderers don't like witnesses; there's something about homicide that brings out the loner in people. But an attempted murder on the evening of March 21, 1980, wasn't like most shootings: this violent act had 300 million witnesses. Ruthless Texas oilman J.R. Ewing was gunned down and left for dead by a person, or persons, unknown in his Dallas office. The crime captured the world's attention for eight months as fans and armchair detectives around the globe tried to answer the burning question: Who shot J.R.? Was it Sue Ellen, J.R.'s long-suffering wife? Was it Bobby, his brother? Or did his mother, Miss Ellie, finally reach the limits of her patience? When the answer finally came in November, 41 million Americans were interested enough to give the show the then-largest audience in TV history (it still ranks second). If you weren't one of the millions glued to the set to find out who did shoot J.R., we won't spoil the mystery. But we will warn you, never underestimate the power of a woman scorned.

A Slice of Pi (3/14/07)

3.141592 may look like some kind of phone number, but for the mathematically inclined, those numbers have a special significance -- they're the first few digits of pi. We're not talking about delicious baked desserts, but rather the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. And March 14 -- or 3/14 -- is Pi Day! Celebrating a fraction may seem like an odd thing to do, but you know what party animals mathematicians are! Any excuse to eat pizza and drink piña coladas -- and especially at one minute to 2:00 pm (3/14, 1:59 being the first six digits of pi) -- well, just stand clear of the piñatas, pine nuts, and pineapples, 'cause you know where the hot geek-on-geek action will be! But you can do more than just eat; you can convert circles into radians, or go for a 3.14 mile run. If that's too strenuous, though, we recommend sitting down and watching a good movie and eating some delicious homemade snacks.

Chuck Norris Rules the World (3/9/07)

Some say he was born in a log cabin that he built himself. Legend, perhaps, but the one sure thing is that his birth occurred on March 10, 1940, in Ryan, Oklahoma -- which makes him 67 years old this weekend. Who are we talking about? Chuck Norris: the man, the legend, the Internet phenomenon. How Norris grew from martial arts champion and movie star to the guy more or less in charge of the universe is unclear (most sources cite Conan O'Brien's show, but how does a natural phenomenon like Chuck or an earthquake or a hurricane "start?"), but facts don't seem to matter; Chuck is. Any man who can count both Whoopi Goldberg and George W. Bush among his friends is truly a force to be reckoned with. So who cares if he did or didn't count to infinity -- twice? All we know is that at the age when most men settle into quiet retirement, he could still kick our ass -- and yours -- and anyone else's.