Bathy Hirpday, Yogi Berra! (5/12/06)

Philosopher and sage Lawrence Peter Berra celebrates his 81st birthday today, and we wish him hearty felicitations ("Thank you for making this day necessary."). In a perfect world ("If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."), Berra -- known as "Yogi" to those in the know -- would be remembered as quite a ballplayer ("Ninety percent of this game is half mental."), but history will note him for his "Yogiisms," which fractured the English language in unique ways ("Aw, I didn't really say everything I said."). Yogi may lack the historical gravitas ("It's like déjà vu all over again.") or the silver tongue of some of his predecessors like Reverend William Spooner, Samuel Goldwyn, Gracie Allen, or even Mrs. Malaprop. But anyone who could remind us that "when you get to a fork in the road, take it," or that "you can observe a lot by watching," is a grade-A philosopher in our book. But don't try this at home, kids. As the maestro said, "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."