Dangerous Toys, My Eye! (12/24/06)

Every year about this time, some group of buttinsky do-gooders comes along with a list of "dangerous" toys that parents should avoid just because some kiddie somewhere might swallow something or put an eye out. When we were growing up, we weren't softies like these kids today. Our toys were hazardous. They were rusty. They gave us splinters. They exploded or stabbed us. We played with chemistry sets and concocted all sorts of toxic stuff -- and we'd eat it. We had Thingmakers that would melt Plastigoop, which could burn the skin off your arm. Our Erector sets could cut a finger off. Nowadays, kids aren't even allowed to play dodgeball or swing on the monkey bars, because someone might break an arm. Honestly! You kids today. Pick up your rounded corners, hypoallergenic, flame-resistant, no-small-parts toys and get off my lawn!