Grave Robbers, Incorporated (10/31/06)

Help Wanted: Completely ethical, reasonable, and sane scientist (though they called me mad! Mad, am I? I'll show them. I'll show them all!) needs discreet assistant for unique recycling projects at a ground-breaking startup. Benefits include private working conditions, flexible hours (must be available on dark and stormy nights), and plenty of physical exercise. We're looking for someone who is detail-oriented and has a knack for jumping in and digging up leads. Get in on the ground floor (or even below the ground) of this electrifying opportunity. Candidates with own shovels and ability to distinguish between normal and abnormal brains preferred. Hunchbacks encouraged. Whistle-blowers and those with scruples or weak stomachs need not apply. No background check. Please contact Dr. V. Frankenstein, Abandoned Castle at the Top of the Hill, Transylvania. EOE.